it's all gonna break
well it finally happened.
that golden horseshoe that Lady Luck inserted in my ass all those years ago has finally lost it's powers.
i am now suceptible to serious physical damage.
and i learned this the hard way.
by flying sideways through the air in a parking lot behind the dirtiest bar in Sydney and landing on my wrist.
and then having John Michael land on top of me.
and John is not a petite fellow by any means.
needless to say, some of the key, movement creating elements inside my wrist were badly snapped, and i now get to wear a cast for a month.
for the entire month of July to be precise.
so no swimming or case diving or tree climbing or ultimate frisbee.
also, no video games.
my left opposable thumb is no longer opposable.
it's just...there.
and trying to operate a controller with one hand and a plaster stump?
rather vexing.
and sad.
very very sad.
but it's not all bad.
i can still give high fives.
i can read books and use computers and brush my teeth.
i can even manipulate my genitalia for pleasure if needs be.
and the percentage of Sympathy Hugs i've recieved from the female population has almost quadrupled compared to last months stats.
yup, things could be a lot worse for this ignorant cripple.
so if you see me around this month, stop and say hi.
give me a hug.
maybe open my beer for me.
and feel free to sign my cast, where senseless profanity is not only welcome, it's encouraged.
(i'd like to take a moment to thank Chris for entertaining me while i waited for a cab to the hospital by vomiting out of his upstairs window and onto his front stoop. good show.)
that golden horseshoe that Lady Luck inserted in my ass all those years ago has finally lost it's powers.
i am now suceptible to serious physical damage.
and i learned this the hard way.
by flying sideways through the air in a parking lot behind the dirtiest bar in Sydney and landing on my wrist.
and then having John Michael land on top of me.
and John is not a petite fellow by any means.
needless to say, some of the key, movement creating elements inside my wrist were badly snapped, and i now get to wear a cast for a month.
for the entire month of July to be precise.
so no swimming or case diving or tree climbing or ultimate frisbee.
also, no video games.
my left opposable thumb is no longer opposable.
it's just...there.
and trying to operate a controller with one hand and a plaster stump?
rather vexing.
and sad.
very very sad.
but it's not all bad.
i can still give high fives.
i can read books and use computers and brush my teeth.
i can even manipulate my genitalia for pleasure if needs be.
and the percentage of Sympathy Hugs i've recieved from the female population has almost quadrupled compared to last months stats.
yup, things could be a lot worse for this ignorant cripple.
so if you see me around this month, stop and say hi.
give me a hug.
maybe open my beer for me.
and feel free to sign my cast, where senseless profanity is not only welcome, it's encouraged.
(i'd like to take a moment to thank Chris for entertaining me while i waited for a cab to the hospital by vomiting out of his upstairs window and onto his front stoop. good show.)
posted by mike | 7:59 AM
5 Comments:
i'll open 20 beer for ya buddy.
that SUCKS. a lot.
thanks nicole, that's sweet.
you're buying the beers too, correct?
awww, poor skillhouse! hope you're getting lots of sympathy beer out of that cast. also: is the dirtiest bar in sydney herman's or the capri? because really, i think that could depend on the night.
The Capri is most definately dirtier than Herman's these days, but an argument could also be made for that ugly little dive known as the Rum Jungle.
My cousin owns the Capri. I went there twice while I was in CB last week.
It's no worse than any other pub.
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