Name:
Location: Montreal

Saturday, October 21, 2006

the breakdown (of a probable mix given to a lady to incite feelings of lust)

track 1: this song is fun. nothing to heavy and it might get her hips shaking. i like the opening riff; good way to start a mix. a little "toe in the bathwater" action.

track 2: this one's more for me than her.

track 3: the first song that's really gonna grab her will be this one. she'll like it right away and play it for her girlfriends and they'll all put it on their iPods. it will also get her thinking. "will he ever leave me hangin' on the telephone?" and then she'll be like "of course not. why would he do that after putting this song on my CD?" then she'll maybe second guess herself one more time. this will make me seem untamed and dangerous, but in an appealing way.

track 4: this song is just awesome. it's catchy and it's pretty and it rocks. also, it's a test. say a few weeks down the road, i ask her if she likes this song and she says "meh", i'll have to rethink this whole operation.

track 5: the first time she invites me over for dinner and drinking because her bitchy roommate is out of town she'll put on the CD and do a drunken little headbangy air guitar dance to this song while standing on the sofa in her living room. so hot.

track 6: although throughly rocking, this song deals with some deep subject matter if you dig deep enough. this will tell her "i think about stuff sometimes." also it's sung by a chick, so she'll know i'm cool with that.

track 7: ok, that last one was a little intense. let's loosen shit up a bit. this one will bring the fun back. a good song to whistle along to. you can't have two "message" songs back to back. i'm trying to get her into bed, not send her to 'Nam.

track 8: i don't even care. Blue Oyster Cult are awesome. this song will let her know i'm burnin' for her.

track 9: this song wasn't supposed to be here. the other choice was some weird kind of non-mp3 file and i couldn't add it to the playlist because my computer was being gay so i replaced it with this one. i'd rather be making tapes.

track 10: this one's an ass kicker. it's gonna sound awesome when we're tearing down the highway at 140km/h in her car because she's driving me somewhere.

track 11: at the end of this stage of man's existence, when whoever's in charge of such things puts a cap on this whole "music as expression" thing, this sucker will continue to stand above all others as the greatest example of human emotion in song form ever recorded. it will be her "trying on girlie outfits and bouncing in fron of the mirror" song.

track 12: one time i started making a tape for this chick i liked who worked at that coffee place. and on said tape, this was the song that was going to crack her. the one that was going to peel open her heart* and welcome me to nestle inside and repaint it with our shared and mighty love. maybe her eyes would tear up whenever she heard it and she'd call me to come over and hold her while she listened to it on infinite repeat, purring thigs like "it's just like us...it's so beautiful...it's perfect...how did you ever find me?" then i saw her at some show with her douchebag boyfriend. i got some drunk that night.

track 13: hopefully she'll be wise enough to crank this one super loud and let the guitars pin her to the wall. her roommate will hate it and hopefully move out. then i can have my "Nintendo Room".

track 14: this song is one of my favorites, but i'm worried she'll think i added it as some kind of funny 'joke song'. then i'll get all defensive and be all "you don't know what it's like" and explain what the song means to me on a personal level and that i take it quite seriously. did you see the video though? the video's fucking hilarious.

track 15: man, you can't fuck with these old school love songs. no bullshit; they just go for it. come right out and say it. "imagine me and you, i do.." songs today are stupid. i don't know what the hell they're singing about. how some dude's hard drive malfunctions and and make these asymmetrical patterns that are maybe a clue or something, or how some guy let the dogs out or is on a night train or something. music today is stupid.

track 16: i thought that this would be a really good place for this song.

track 17: slick. this track is so fucking smooth man. sex jam.

track 18: at the end of a solid mix, always drop a prog song right after a sex jam. because prog songs are usually really really long. so when the sex jam gets her all hot and shit starts going down you've got all this time to mess around without worrying about having to change the CD and spoil the mood. "well uhhh, why don't you just like, start the disc with a sex jam then?" why? because i'm a classy motherfucker, that's why. amateur.

*[originally i was going to say 'peel open her heart like a warm dinner roll and slather it with my lo-fat love butter' but decided that was maybe taking thigs a bit too far.]

4 Comments:

Anonymous Daryl said...

You really put alot of thought into that CD. But, it's kinda creepy that you gave it to Tommy.

12:35 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

you are sadly unoriginal, sir. "hangin' on the telephone" was the third track on the mixtape you made for me several years ago.

(admittedly, it did get me into bed...)

6:28 AM  
Blogger nic said...

i totally made you a mix cd like a year and a half ago! but then i didn't see you for a year. so i gave it to someone else.

7:29 PM  
Blogger mike said...

Daryl: i hope he likes it.
Kathryn: you can't beat the classics.
Nic: make me a new one.

10:27 AM  

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