Location: Montreal

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

it's cause i comb my beard with honey

the sound of dead and dying leaves; the smells emitted by trees and plants slowly stumbling into their winter comas; the sidewalks a sea of sweaters and scarves; the cool mountain air roaming in and scaring the humidity out of town.
it was because of these things that i let my guard down.
and i was because i let my guard down that the wasp attacked me and chased me for two city blocks.
when the temperature dips enough for me to warrant the breaking out of the leather coat i officially stop worrying about wasps, bees, flies, dragon flies and Atlas moths.
but the wasp i faced today was no lazy "i buzz around a trashbin stealing sugar from soda cans" wasp.
it was bigger, stronger, faster.
and probably angrier.
an autumn wasp.
the fact he's even living at this time of the year is a testament to his (or her) awesome strength.
and since i had the guff to stroll around downtown with an "i'm allergic to wasps but what-fucking-ever" kind of look written across my face, he (or she) decided to chase me.
so i walked faster.
still being chased.
so i walked faster while casually swatting (flailing?) my arms all around me.
still being chased, he/she going for the face.
i am running down the sidewalk like an idiot.
flapping my wings.
saying "fuck off!" and "shit!" and "hey, cool belt. Le Chateau?"
when i thought i had enough of a lead on him i ducked into an alley and waited, pretending to tie my shoe so as not to look like i was just kind of lurking in an alley/hiding from a tiny insect.
when i felt safe enough i continued on my way.
if anyone happened to see this go down... i was practicing some new dance moves... i'll show you on the weekend.


Blogger Tr!sh said...

I ran into that bitch wasp a few days later, just before I was supposed to walk down the aisle at my friend's wedding. I know the photographer thought me flayling it away from me was pretty hilarious!

3:15 PM  

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