Location: Montreal

Monday, September 04, 2006


i must say, the best part was when Blake and i had to row back to shore.
but not only did we have to row back to shore, we had to row back to shore in the dark, while being ruinously drunk.
i thought i was going fall into the bay just loading up the damn thing with the leftover beer; and FYI, loading a rowboat is fucking awkward when you are drunk and have only one good arm. almost as awkward as drinking with that chick last week and finding out she was one of the cops who busted me for napping on someone's lawn a while back.
anyway...the first few dozen meters of our voyage aboard the SS Imminent Disaster were the trickiest, what with the trying to row and drink simultainiously.
our plan had reeked of dangerous assumptions from the beginning and i didn't even consider any of the Maritime Codes Of Operation until we were too far from the Mother Ship to do anything about it.
and it was too dark to see the docks.
and what if we lose the paddles?
life jackets?
nope, those things are for jerks.
luckily i was wearing my heavy leather coat.
leather floats right?
the word "doomed" came to mind.
the headline "Bodies Found On Shore, Partially Devoured By Jellyfish, Suffering From Record Breaking Shrinkage" also came to mind.
what a laughably depressing way to die.
but, in the end, our sub par rowing techniques and ignorance to personal safety paid off and we made it to the docks.
sure we missed the whole concert, and the Shore Club was emptying out by the time we got there, and we didn't know if the others on the ship would be stranded all night, but these things didn't matter.
what matters is that i got to piss in the ocean, i earned my Sea Legs, and my jeans still smell like a bonfire on a beach in the middle of the nowhere in the middle of night.
peace out, Summer.


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