sound advice

-never fuck a person who calls herself 'Goat Lady'.
-don't try to teach children foul words if their parents are around.
-electrical sockets are not meant for fingers or wet penises.
-never eat a fried pigeon. we boil pigeons.
-don't wear leather pants unless you mean it.
-you can't make bacon flavored yogurt. trust me.
-if you have to kiss a homeless person, no tongue.