ten good reasons not to kill yourself before thanksgiving

-turkey dinner (it's less than a week away, c'mon)
-i have nothing to wear to the wake
-suffering is sexier
-speaking of sex... sex!
-you'll probably botch it and everyone will laugh (how embarrassing)
-wait until after my birthday
-two words: Spaceballs sequel
-fool! now you'll never get into heaven (Flanders weeps...)
-let's go dancing
-c'mon, Courtney's not that bad. is she?