ejection seat (of love?)

unlucky in love?
need to abandon ship?
these ten phrases will instantaneously gaurantee that your first date will be your last date.

•"yeah, my new job is ok i guess. but still, i really miss my old job. at Neverland Ranch."

•"hey! remember that time i fingered your mom at the circus?"

•"no, i don't smoke weed. i'm only into huffing solvents."

•"vote Republican."

•"why thank you, but this is actually a wig. i'm completly hairless. everywhere. ask me why."

•"i don't have a car. or a penis."

•"gee, i'm not sure if i can meet you tomorrow or not. i'll have to ask the Almighty Leader when i return to the Fortified Compound of True Believers."

•don't say anything. just grind your teeth and glare. wait for her to comment on that homemade 'Satan for Hire' tatoo that you've recently carved across your face.

•"did you just fucking fart?"

•"would you mind if i put this ball gag on you? just for a sec? i wanna see how it looks."