Name:
Location: Montreal

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

she's got legs...

i just moved the large shelving unit in my room.
the one that i originally dragged in from the parking lot up the street and hasn't been moved in two years.
oh the wonderful things i found beneath it.
that navy-blue shirt i really like, the one with the collar.
a bunch of Subway stamps.
my Action Week '96 button.
one of those foamy earplugs.
the cassette single of "Let Your Backbone Slide."
an ancient condom. (used)
dozens of staples.
and a nest of Gigantic Spiders.
not those little 'make a web in the corner and keep to myself' kind of spiders. these were 'hulking, prehistoric, talon-legged, running and jumping and tearing your flesh to ribbons' type spiders.
two of these beastly fuckers could take down a well trained adult greyhound, i'm sure of it.
what amuses me the most is the fact that until i moved the shelving unit, we were apparently living in harmony.
or maybe not.
maybe they've been filling my various bodily cavities with their eggs while i sleep.
maybe they've been feasting on my feet and legs for sustinance, (that would explain those mysterious bites.)
maybe they've been feasting on that fossilized condom, (that would explain thier incredible, almost pterodactyl-like strength and agility, not to mention their tasteful facial hair.)
anyway, the important thing is i found that Maestro Fresh Wes tape.
i wanna rock right now.
(and yes, the title of this post is a ZZ Top reference.)

3 Comments:

Anonymous Daryl said...

I think those sound like 'wolf spiders' or atleast thats what people call them around here. They are too dense to walk on webs, and they pretty much catch insects like earwigs and ants. They dont catch them in a web, they freaking take them head on. Oh, and they'll bite people too, if those bites have two tiny holes, as opposed to one, then its a spider. I'm thinking about running a nature show on cable access.

3:27 PM  
Blogger mike said...

daryl, you have nothing but my utmost encouragement in your television plan. i recommend putting your show in the prime slot between Nova and Junkyard Wars.
also: for tix try getting them through the Bell Centre in Montreal.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous daryl said...

Mike, I've contacted the Bell Centre, they say someone needs to pick up the ticket directly.. they dont mail. Rip me an email, would ya, with Chad's info etc... I can't miss nin, I'll cry like a girl...

6:56 PM  

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