the line begins to blur

sorry about the lack of posts lately.
i've been wrapped up in a few things.
every couple of weeks the Terror of Living sneaks up and grabs me by the throat, inciting binges, blackouts, rash decisions and other ill-advised forms of perilous behaviour.
it's good to get these things out of ones system.
and when the dust finally settles around my screaming brain and injurious body, the Terror of Dying kicks the ever-loving-shit out of me, sending me reeling, grasping desperately for natural foods, proper sleep, water, vitamins, sushi, repair.
trying to sustain a square foot of sensible living.
and then, like that little kid in the Def Leppard shirt who's riding the Gravitron for the umpteenth time in a row, all i can do is twitch a little bit and yell, "Again!"
more.