foiled again. again!
today at work, while gluing white squares of Lego to the backsides of motorboards, i thought of something magnificent.
Tronald Dump.
i know what you're thinking. omg.
i was too.
because Tronald Dump isn't just a mere spoonerism.
Tronald Dump is actually near perfect. it combines all three basic elements of the Triforce of Comedy.
it's timely.
it's hilarious.
and it involves the toilet.
and for a minute, for one glorious minute, i envisioned a bountiful future.
a t-shirt.
a catch phrase.
tiny little crap wigs.
that is until Jack, quickly and efficiently, Google searched the name Tronald Dump.
throat punch.
i was not the first person to discover the infinitely comedic gold mine that is Tronald Dump.
what's more depressing is that, somewhat suprisingly, the first person to think of Tronald Dump is a dog with a MySpace account.
i wish, oh Wayne and Garth, i wish i was making this up.
but it's too late.
Tronald Dump is a computer literate dog.
a dog who enjoys high fives and human food, and who hates recorder whistles and laser pointers.
a dog who is apparently bisexual, 36 years old, a bodybuilder of African descent and has exactly one hundred friends (several of whom appear to also be dogs with access to the internet).
i'm done.
i can't compete with this.
curse you, Tronald.
curse you, you son of a bitch.
Tronald Dump.
i know what you're thinking. omg.
i was too.
because Tronald Dump isn't just a mere spoonerism.
Tronald Dump is actually near perfect. it combines all three basic elements of the Triforce of Comedy.
it's timely.
it's hilarious.
and it involves the toilet.
and for a minute, for one glorious minute, i envisioned a bountiful future.
a t-shirt.
a catch phrase.
tiny little crap wigs.
that is until Jack, quickly and efficiently, Google searched the name Tronald Dump.
throat punch.
i was not the first person to discover the infinitely comedic gold mine that is Tronald Dump.
what's more depressing is that, somewhat suprisingly, the first person to think of Tronald Dump is a dog with a MySpace account.
i wish, oh Wayne and Garth, i wish i was making this up.
but it's too late.
Tronald Dump is a computer literate dog.
a dog who enjoys high fives and human food, and who hates recorder whistles and laser pointers.
a dog who is apparently bisexual, 36 years old, a bodybuilder of African descent and has exactly one hundred friends (several of whom appear to also be dogs with access to the internet).
i'm done.
i can't compete with this.
curse you, Tronald.
curse you, you son of a bitch.
posted by mike | 10:51 PM
4 Comments:
Come to Toronto and delight me with tales such as this.
I have had the pleasure of the company of this Tronald Dump you speak of, & let me tell you, he is an amazing canine well worthy of his name. Don't look at as defeat, but as being just as clever of a genius as the man, whom is also amazing, as the dog himself.
i know tron, tronald dump. that's my dog. he's a dick. he'll be 9 on february 14, 2010.
he's not a dick. he's smart.
rad
I like the soft spot on Tronald Dump's head. i like to kiss it.
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