employee of the week

this is my new title. and this will remain my new title for, at the very least, seven days.
how did this come to be?
how did someone so lazy and uncaring towards work ethics come to be the 'Feature Employee of the Week'?
you see, "somebody" started a rumor that i saved a puppy's life in the parking lot the other day. "supposedly" this darling puppy was sleeping behind a large van that was slowly backing up. so I (being quick on my feet) sprinted towards the van, lunged, grabbed the puppy from the clutches of certain death, and power-rolled to safety.
little Sebastian's owner was so grateful.
tears of absolute joy streaming down her face.
kissing me over and over with those full, thankful lips.
hugging me. crying.
her supple thighs and ample bosom pressing against me.
it was nothing ma'am.
you get this little fella home; he's had an exciting day.
be safe.