Location: Montreal

Thursday, January 05, 2006

dream weaver

the other night i had one of the most important dreams of my life.
it's level of importance isn't based on it being the Most Vivid or Most Shocking or Most Sexy dream i've ever had; it's important because it's made me think about my life and how i live it, more so than any other dream, vision or hallucination ever has.
and also, i find the fact that i had this dream on the first morning of the new year quite interesting.
so here it is.
i dreamt of the beginning of the end of the world.
i forget how i heard about it initially but i do remember being in "my room", (not my actual room, because it's never your actual room in a dream, it's always a kind of weird room that you just recognise as your own. anyway,) and piling furniture against the doors and windows trying to seal myself inside.
after a lot of pushing, dragging and Tetris-like planning i realised that i'd end up getting killed somehow anyway (because, you know, End of The World) so i decided that if i was gonna get Raptured, i was gonna have a front row seat.
it was at this point that the dream cut scenes to somewhere deep beneath one of the oceans, probably somewhere near the core. the me in my dream did not travel there, my brain was just giving me the background information that i needed to understand just how exactly the world would end. apparently, unbeknownst to all, there is a great evil dwelling beneath the Earth's crust, in the form of a ginormous molten turtle. absolutely gargantuan. i remember being able to only see one side of his head, and his friggin eyeball was the size of my living room and had eight pupils. also he was covered in spines and spikeys and mountainous horns. i remember someone standing in front of him, kind of initiating the whole fiasco, but i can't recall exactly who it was. i'm almost half sure it was Starscream, (from Transformers, Megatron's right hand man, ruthless and deceptive, could turn into a F-15 Eagle fighter jet at will.)
anyway, back to the surface.
i was in a large decrepit old house with about a dozen other people.
some who i recognised, some who i did not.
most of whom were babes.
outside things were getting very sketchy very quickly.
it was dark, torrential rain starting and stopping sporadically.
there was moderate flooding, high winds and many buildings and cars appeared to be on fire.
it was hard to make out exactly what was happening in the streets below but the screams of dying humans and probably some dogs could be heard in every direction. bursts of lightning would crackle and flare across the sky and i think i saw some orcs running amok.
there was a loud monotonous rumble and sinkholes were forming everywhere due to the immense molten turtle crawling upwards through the Earth's tectonic plates.
and we were all just standing around.
waiting. hoping to get a good view of the inevitable.
for a moment i felt a pang of real, genuine terror.
but then, like an interstellar kick in the nuts, an idea, the Only Idea, came to me and i knew what i had to do.
throughout the whole dream i was wearing a plain white t-shirt with nothing on it, no sarcastic observation, no band logo, no pizza sauce, nothing.
white and pure.
my mysterious new knowledge was, that if i used my good marker, there was something i could write on this shirt that would stop these things from happening. i could almost see myself walking out into this shitstorm of Earth-endingness, wearing the shirt, and remaining completely unharmed. i knew for a fact, 100% certain, that this would work.
i just had to figure out what to write on the shirt.
what phrase or symbol or word would prevent the beast from destroying me?
i thought about writing "Hero" but decided no.
i thought "Untouchable", and i knew it wasn't that, but it was something like that.
a few of the others made suggestions to, but the only one i can remember is "1989" and i don't even know how that would work.
but there was no time.
this was it. we were right on the cusp of non-existence.
i had to write something. now.
and then i fucking woke up.
i woke up in fucking pain from all the beer and red wine and Jagermeister i inhaled the night before (New Years Eve).
and that's the funny part.
usually when i drink i don't dream.
or i don't remember dreaming.
but this one's been lingering in my head for five days now.
that's why i think it's important.
it's somehow symbolic of everything going on around me, and i just have to figure out (spiritually speaking) what the hell i'm gonna write on that shirt.
maybe it symbolizes some great change in the world.
maybe there's something that i have to do.
but what?
maybe it symbolizes something else.
something huge.
maybe it symbolizes that i'm going to get laid a lot this year.
probably that one.


Anonymous Jon said...

I found your boy from under the world.

And your T-shirt? Well, you can fill that one in.

7:52 AM  
Blogger mike said...

naw, that's not him.
the idea is dead on, but like i said, he was more of a molten turtle. i actually think Cthulhu looks a lot cooler than my guy because as some of you may know i have a slight obsession with cephalopods and things that resemble cephalopods.

also: i was thinking of writing "i have the crystals!!" on the shirt, in an attempt to confuse or strike fear into the creature. then i thought, what if the crystals are what the beast is looking for? so i'll write "THEY have the crystals!", with an arrow pointing to everyone else who is not me.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Sir Thomas said...

If you were going to get laid alot this year you probably would have had a dream about reflections...haha

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Mari said...

Best one yet.

6:07 PM  
Blogger nic said...


12:01 PM  
Blogger Graeme said...

Router this, Mike. Router this.

4:50 PM  

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