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Location: Montreal

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Super-Ideal Power League

this one's for the Nerds.
bear with me.
i've been tossing this idea around in my head for months now.
you know how during the Olympics certain countries (well, Canada and the US mostly) will put together these super-high-powered hockey/basketball teams, using the absolute cream o' the crop in order to crush and destroy any/all competition?
'Dream Teams' i believe they're called?
well, that got me thinking.
and i realized something.
i hate sports a lot.
so decided to apply the Dream Team principle to something even more exciting (for non-gamblers at least); the world of fiction.
and when i say fiction i mean ALL fiction.
movies, television, literature, comic books, video games, the Bible, you name it.
think about it...you can put any character in the history of fiction on your team.
who would you choose?
why?
how powerful could your team possibly be?
would your team be able to defeat my team?
of course not.
{also: teams must contain exactly 8 members}
[because i said so]
here is my Super-Ideal Power League.
who's in yours?

Swamp Thing (from the popular comic of same name)
- the Swamp Thing is a powerful humanoid mass of vegetation. even though he is composed entierly of organic plant matter, he is articulate; able to speak and form complex thoughts and emotions. he can control nearby plant life, is able to regenerate lost limbs and even regrow his entire body anywhere that plants are present. he could be my sneaky information guy.

Unicron (from the Transformers universe)
- destroyer of countless civilizations, Unicron is a planet sized Transformer who has existed since the beginning of time, travelling the universe and devouring other planets, thus absorbing their information/technology/etc. he could be my home base and my vehicle. he would make a pretty good scrapper too, because he's pretty big.

Lando Calrissian (from the [watchable] Star Wars films)
- Lando is a swashbuckling space guy. he owns a city in the clouds and is the administrator of a gas mine. he is quite crafty, an exceptional pilot, and a total ladies' man. he could be the team's "Trim Co-ordinator."

Jason Voorhees (from the Friday the 13th films)
- Jason is a relentless, merciless mass-murderer who apparently cannot speak or be killed, by anyone. he enjoys wearing a goalie mask to conceal his deformed face and walking ominously through wooded areas carrying a large machete for disposing of libidinous young people in escalatingly creative ways. he'd be my infantry guy.

Pai Mei (from the film Kill Bill Vol. 2)
- thought to be well over a thousand years old, Pai Mei is an ancient martial arts master. he is infinitley wise and more than a little ruthless. he is the originator of the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

Queen Alien (from the film Aliens)
- this is the Queen Mother of a nightmarish, insect-like hive of viscious predatory creatures known as Xenomorphs. the Queen is over 15 feet tall, has two sets of powerful razor sharp jaws, armored exoskeletal skin, a spiny, bladed whip-like tail, and a potent, acid-like substance for blood. i'm pretty excited about this one.

Merlin (of Arthurian legend)
- an infamous and most powerful wizard who lived hundreds of years ago. i'm actually kind of iffy about this one because i'm pretty sure Merlin was a real guy.

Mr.Spock (from the original Star Trek series)
- Spock is a half human, half Vulcan hybrid. he is super-intelligent; a being of logic and reason. he is able to obtain information from others using his patented Mind-Meld. can also render foes unconscious instantainiously with his Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Spock and Merlin would be my science guys and unofficial Team Leaders.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, Ill bite Mike...

Team lead- Sgt. Franklin E. Talltree
Codenamed- Sgt Airborne, of GI-Joe Fame
Why? Hes a fuckin para (youll notice a lot of these)

Brute Force- HE-MAN
Why? He has the ring AND..hes fuckin HE MAN!

T&A- She Ra/Wonder-Woman, i havent decided, im thinking creamed corn wrestling, the winner is on the team and the loser gets some hentai style tentacle action

Under Water hokey pokey shit Master-
Naval Warrant Officer Edward W. Leialoha
Why- Attained black belts in three martial arts by 19 (Wu-Shu, Kenpo, and Go-Ju-Ryu). Nuff said...
and hes a vegan

For my Aviation wing i have-
CW-4 William S. Hardy, GI Joes heli pilot

and

Han effing Solo...the milennium falcon is badassery personified
and bitch got da spice...word

Gotta give cobra a shot, and i need someone for Psy-Ops and intel and interrogations so...
Doctor Mindbender! is my 7th pick..


And to round out my team
...

Cause he has been featured 6 times in a local comic.
Hometown CB Hero...
Mark Courtney..!

4:28 AM  
Blogger mike said...

you're right, Chaos was fucking tough.
i don't know if he was Mark Courtney tough...but still a challenging foe.

11:35 AM  
Blogger mike said...

you kids crack me up.
i'll crush you both.

2:02 PM  

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