glass knuckles

i've gotten pretty damn sick of telling the same "i was drunk and jumped over a hedge" story 200 times a day to explain this festering, heavily graffiti'd cast on my arm.
so when it's just a random stranger, or maybe a customer at work, i tell them something totally ridiculous.
and they usually believe me.
it's not lying exactly.
it's mischeif.
misleading fictional factualities if you will.
but i'd never lie to you.
you're very dear to me, you know that.
and what a sweet ass.
here's some of the alternate explainations i offer those who don't know any better.

- i broke it during a charity bike-a-thon, the chraity in question was Puppies for Inspired Orphans with Heartbreakingly Sad Diseases.

- i was defending someone's honor.

- breakdancing accident (in Harlem!)

- a motorcycle ran over it.

- i broke it while jousting (for someone's honor)

- spontaneous human combustion.

- let's just say i owe a lot of money to a lot of dangerous people.

- it's from a gangrenous stigmata wound, and i'm feeling much better.

- i fought the law, the law won.

- i take my lovemaking very seriously.

- there was this guy in the park and he was kicking these homeless puppies and screaming "i hate these puppies" so i punched him and broke my wrist but it was worth it just to see all those puppies smile again.

- i was struck with a very small meteor that was going incredibly fast.

- i was trampled during that 'Running of the Bulls' thing in Mexico. is it Spain? yeah, it was in Spain.

- it doesn't matter how it happened. what matters is i love you.

- a severe after effect from a mid-shunt muscle spasm.

- i fell off the monkey bars. i was drunk and unsupervised.

- why don't you ask your mom how it happened.