Name:
Location: Montreal

Saturday, January 27, 2007

please god no not like this

this right here friends, is my dying wish.
(not that i'm dying or anything, or ever will die; i'm just putting this out there so folks know what they're in for.)
after the orc attack or whatever goes down, and after a certified doctor has pronounced my body as no longer living, a group of my closest friends and lovers will be assembled to build my casket.
it must be built only by my friends and only while said friends are heavily liquored.
any so-called friend who chooses not to participate will be made to feel bad by my special Post-Living Project Coordinators.
i obviously won't care what the casket will look like so try to have fun with it.
some racing stripes would be pretty sporty.
maybe drink holders.
a little bird house....whatever makes you happy.
sometime the next afternoon or whenever people wake up from the drinky-buildy party, my non-cremated remains are to be placed in the casket in a hilarious manner (like with no pants on or a wig or something) and dragged into the woods.
the casket is NOT TO BE BURIED.
you guys worked hard on that, let the world enjoy it.
burying is for cowards, veterans and once beloved household pets, of which i am none.
anyway, after the dragging and dumping maybe you guys could say a few words, do a J if you want, you know, just hang out a bit.
ideally, someone would have the foresight to bring a ghettoblaster and a casette that starts with 'Pet Sematary' by The Ramones followed by 'Louie Louie' repeated for however many times it fits until the tape is full.
after the tunes just leave me to rot i guess.
let the city deal with it.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Sign me, Offended said...

I found this post to be extremely insensitive.

My cousin was attacked by an orc last year on his way home from a D&D role playing party and it's really nothing to make light of.

9:33 AM  
Blogger mike said...

your cuz should have had the foresight to always carry a weapon that has been smithed with orcsbane.
i mean c'mon, this isn't the 90's anymore.

4:44 PM  

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