turfed

my failing was in trying to make it look casual.
had i given it my all, ran completely full-on/full-tilt, as if being chased by angry dogs or a large gorilla capable of carrying angry dogs while maintaining a threatening speed, i might have cleared that hedge.
but no. i had to make it look casual.
uplanned. the kind of thing i do a thousand times a day, mechanically, while drinking coffee and scanning the crossword.
i didn't even go for a running start.
just a quick left-right-left-launch.
and for a few wonderful seconds, i was good.
i was soaring. i was an Albatross.
my aerial veiw gave me a better sense of scope, leading me to realize i had greatly misjudged the girth of the hedge. before i could recalculate, my legs became ensnarled in the tangly wooden fingers of my obstacle, slowing their momentum. my upper body, however, continued at full speed, causing a "hinge" effect that hurtled my head into the ground with suprising force.
damn you physics.
damn you gravity.
damn you both and your continuing defiance of my brilliant plans.