Location: Montreal

Sunday, January 15, 2006

signs o' the times

three examples of creative and thought provoking vandalism.

• it was the early nineties and i was a bored fourteen year old. there wasn't much to do in the summertime except light grass fires and walk down to the store and read comic books. next to the store was a small barber shop that had one of those big light-up roadside signs with the plastic letters that you can switch around. i walked past this sign half a dozen times every single day. and it always said the same thing. "Ask About Our Perm Specials". one day i couldn't take it anymore and rearranged a few letters so the sign read "Ask About Our Sperm Special". my friends and i were throughly pleased and spent the rest of the afternoon laughing about bodily functions. however, my incredible delight was shortlived. by the time i got home for dinner i had been ratted out by a neighborhood kid and my parents recieved a telephone call from local police. this was my first official brush with the law.

• a few years ago during the holiday season some friends of mine hijacked a large neon sign in front of a busy downtown grocery store. the sign read "Sobeys Santa". in a flash of drunken inspiration they changed it to "Obey Satan". that's pretty funny. what's funnier is that it took management several days to notice and repair the sign. this was like the week before Christmas. happy birthday Jesus.

• details are a bit sketchy on this one but it's been confirmed as actually happening, even though i didn't get to see it. also i forget who did the vandalizing. friends of my brother i think. anyway, a group of young men were staggering down the side of a highway very late at night when they came across the sign of a local daycare centre. i'm not sure what the sign said originally, but i do know what they changed it to. it read "Whatever St. Daycare Centre: We Beat Your Kids". this was an inhumanly cruel thing to write in front of a popular daycare facility. it's also the funniest thing i ever heard in my life and it kills me that i wasn't there to witness it.
carry on my wayward sons.


Blogger amy said...

"discount ape ass on film
99 cents
previously viewed moves
cold shite"

there was never much to do in boutilier's point at night, and there was only one store. we made do.

(changing the lettering of light-up signs has become the lost art of vandalism. maybe it requires more thought than busting up a bus shelter. either way, i think we should bring it back, and start a campaign of dirty store-front signage.)

8:37 AM  
Blogger mike said...

and a campaign of peeing on peoples doorsteps on the coldest days and waiting in shrubs and then laughing ha ha! did you see when he slipped on my pee? and fell on it?

8:16 AM  

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