Location: Montreal

Saturday, April 07, 2007

"hello Cleveland. prepare to be assimilated."

(what if maybe the Borg from Star Trek were a actually a band and showed up at a battle of the bands rehearsal.)

B.o.t.b. Guy - ok, who's next?

[several Borg borgs walk onto the stage.]

Borg - we are the Borg.

B.o.t.b. Guy - uhhhh, ok. so your name is 'Borg'?

Borg - we are the Borg.

B.o.t.b Guy - yeah... ok.... so are you guys called 'Borg' or 'We Are The Borg'?

Borg - we are the Borg. prepare to be assimilated.

B.o.t.b. Guy - yeah, i'm just gonna put 'Borg'. so...... i don't see any instruments. are you guys a techno band or DJ's or something?

Borg - we are the Borg. we are the instrument. resistance is futile.

B.o.t.b. Guy - yeah. that's really cool. what are you guys gonna play tonight?

Borg - we will perform the audio music patterns of our track 'Assimilate', from our forthcoming album, 'Assimilate'.

B.o.t.b. Guy - ummm, you need two songs guys.

Borg - we are also suitably equipped to perform our impossibly superior cover version of human Earth band Deep Purple's 'Highway Star'*.

B.o.t.b. Guy - alright. awesome. i guess you guys are all set. the dressing room is just backstage there if you wanna chill out for a bit.

Borg - your life as it has been is over. from this time forward, you will service us.

B.o.t.b. Guy - dicks.

*(in the impossibly superior Borg version of 'Highway Star' the lyrics are slightly altered; replacing the word "car" with "cube". because that's how the Borg travel. in a giant Borg cube that drifts amongst the galaxies. usually in and around the Delta Quadrant. no; you're a pathetic nerd.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

who's a pathetic nerd? that's right, no one who talks about the borg, because the borg are fucking awesome. i love the episodes with the borg queen, man.

4:41 AM  
Anonymous nicolarolla said...

har har
best post EVER!!

2:34 PM  

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